"The Invisibles"

That's right, the "invisibles." Probably not the title of any movie you've seen lately!!

Our family took a vacation to New Mexico this last week to visit my uncle. While we were there we stayed at the Embassy Suites. It's wonderful because you get a full "real" breakfast everyday! A big plus for our family!!

As we were sitting at our table, I was watching the "bus boys" who would go around and clear the dishes from the table. One that we became especially fond of was "Josh." He was this tall young man with a cheerful grin and a happy countenance. He was so pleasant and always made sure that we were doing fine and had what we needed. I told him one day while we were there that I enjoyed how pleasant and kind he always was. He smiled and told me that "that is just the way I am!"

Who are the invisibles? The invisibles are the bus boys, the janitors, the sky caps - the people who serve us, but we tend to allow to go unnoticed.

Just like the body needs all of it's parts to function well, our society needs each member, invisible or "out in the spotlight" to do their part to keep society functioning well. Imagine a building with no janitor!!! But how often do we ignore or just not notice those individuals?

Several months ago I was standing in the airport waiting for Jeff to get our bags off of the conveyor. It was taking some time, and I was standing near a sky cap who was trying to help two women find their bags. The ladies were impatient and snippy, but this man kindly stood there to do what he could to be of assistance.

As we were waiting, I started a conversation with him. This man was from Africa and had come to America several years before. He talked about his family and the different places he had worked in America. He was truly fascinating.

Who of us truly wants to be invisible? By and large most people want to at least be acknowledged. The next time you are out and about, tell the person cleaning the glass on the store doors that they are doing a good job, smile at the lady cleaning the bathroom. You might just make somebody's day!!!

Opportunities for growth

Recently I received an email from a group I belong to for moms of LDS missionaries. One sister talked about some really hard things that her son had gone through on his mission, and how that had been a trial of her faith as well. As a parent it is always hard to watch our children struggle and have difficulties. However, she went on to say that in retrospect she sees how those experiences shaped him to be better prepared to deal with trials that came later in his life.

I have gone through experiences at different times in my life that have made me really struggle, and that weren't fun; sometimes, I hate to admit, I would even question the "why." Looking back (hindsight is 20/20!) I am better able to recognize the blessings that have come as a result of those experiences.

There is a relatively new CD out by Kenneth Cope. He has a song on it called "Where You Are." I want to share some of the words of this song with you:

I'm talkin' Daniel in the den of the lions,
Talkin' Jonah in the belly of a whale,
I'm talkin' three Hebrew children
And they're standing in the furnace, the fiery furnace.
But the fire didn't burn them,
And the lions didn't bite,
And the Lord reached down and you can be sure that
Everything turned out right.
Oh you'll meet the Lord in the furnace
Long time 'fore you meet Him in the sky.

Meet Him in your time of trial,
Meet Him in your hour of prayer,
You can reach out and I'll bet
You'll find that He's there.

And the fire won't burn you,
And the lions won't bite,
And the Lord will reach down and you can be sure that
Everything will turn out all right
Oh, you'll meet the Lord in the furnace
Long time 'fore you meet Him in the sky,
Then you'll meet Him in the sky.
(Kenneth Cope copyright 1991)

Sometimes when things seem difficult, my husband and I joke that we need to make sure we get it right so the Lord doesn't make us repeat this learning opportunity!! (For more on this topic see Neal Maxwell "Encircled in the Arms of His Love" http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=ea59ee9ba42fe010VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1
It seems it all comes down to truly having faith in the Lord and submitting our will to His, having the faith to know that if we allow our will to be swallowed up in the will of the Lord, "everything will turn out all right."

Lessons from the Little Stream

A favorite children’s song of ours is “Give Said the Little Stream.”

“Give,” said the little stream;
“Give oh give, Give oh give.”
“Give,” said the little stream
as it hurried down the hill.
“I’m small I know but wherever I go
The grass grows greener still.”
Singing, singing all the day
Give away, oh give away.
Singing, singing all the day
Give, oh give away.

A new “thing” we’ve started in our family is making “little stream” cookies, which means we make a batch of cookies and give them all away (ok, so we DO snitch some dough and one or two cookies each!!!).

I think that sometimes we get too busy in our lives to really take care of our “neighbors” as we should. This last year has been WAY over the top busy for my comfort level, (it still is, but I’m consciously working on it) and to be honest one of the things that was the hardest for me was feeling like I was too busy to be a true friend, wife, mother or daughter. I didn’t feel like I could take time to “just chat” or to stop and visit for a minute. I was emotionally and physically “unavailable.”

I think in today’s society we have gotten so caught up in our own lives that we are missing valuable and wonderful opportunities to care for, share with, and learn from others. I miss the times we used to have when I was younger when we would go over and visit the neighbors on their porches or out in their yards. In today’s world, it’s hard to know if it’s ok to just “drop by” because everyone is so busy.

Maybe it’s time we all learned a lesson from the “little stream.” And maybe the most important thing for us to “give away” is our time and sincere friendship.

Knocking Down Walls

I am currently visiting my mom for the week. As I was out walking yesterday I passed my former high school. It was old 26 years ago when I was there, so now it’s REALLY old!!! They are in the process of doing some rebuilding and changing. As I walked past the old driving range area they were just starting to knock down the tower building where the teacher would watch each driver out on the range and give them direction over the radio on what they needed to do differently. I’m sure I spent a lot of time out there, and hopefully I wasn’t TOO bad of a driver, but truly one of my few memories of my time on that range is the teacher yelling at me because I was having problems trying to drive a stick shift (I finally DID master it several years later, though!!)

It seemed kind of silly that watching that old building come down made me feel a bit emotional. I stood there and watched it for awhile. Maybe it wasn’t so much the building itself, as it was the flood of memories that came washing back to me. As I walked through my old neighborhood I thought of beloved neighbors and friends who I haven’t seen in many years, or who have passed on to “the other side.” I thought of people who were very dear friends in high school, but who I haven’t had contact with in way too many years.

I thought about old friends, and old acquaintances who have become friends over the years. I thought about how many things change over time. I thought about how I wish I could help my teenage children understand that, although their friends are ultimately important to them now, as the years go on many of those people will disappear from their lives, but they will always have their family…to help them understand the importance of spending time building relationships with their siblings.

I am very blessed that I am not a person who tends to hold grudges. However, I know plenty of people who do. Watching that building come down made me think about “walls” we have in our own lives. And not just walls of grudges, but walls of prejudice.

In thinking about friends from the past, I remember a young man who I was friends with, but was not particularly popular. One time I saw him coming toward me at a dance, and being oh so concerned about my own abilities to be “cool,” I hid so he wouldn’t ask me to dance. I have always regretted that. He was such a GOOD person and just nice guy. I’ve heard he actually turned out to be quite successful and I am very happy for him. I’m sorry that I lost that chance at building a better friendship with him.

What kinds of walls do we build? We all know about the walls we build to protect ourselves – walls we build because we have been hurt in the past, or because we are scared, or too busy, or whatever seems important. But what kind of trade-off have we made?

It completely drives me crazy to watch a movie where the actor and actress are both in love with each other, but one or both of them is unwilling to break down a wall, or even open a gate, to allow the other one “inside” to know their true feelings. If one or the other would just take the chance to say, “Hey, I really love you, like you, want to be with you, etc.” then they could have the possibility of a wonderful relationship.

How often do we do that in our lives? Maybe not with a “love interest,” but even with friends. What about that new neighbor that just moved in? She dresses a little differently from me, he seems a little conceited, they seem to have it all together and don’t need any more friends. There could be a myriad of excuses for us to not come out of our comfort zone – too busy, too shy, too insecure – but what kinds of wonderful relationships are we missing out on? What kinds of great experiences are we losing?

I love people. I love to learn about people. I have learned so many fascinating things from people who at first glance may seem not worth the conversation. When Jeff and I were in New Jersey last spring we were at the Newark airport on the shuttle to the departure gates. There was a man across from us that was probably in his late 20’s. He was definitely a piece of work! He looked like the poster child for how to be Gothic. He had more earrings, necklaces, rings, etc on his body than I even own. His hair was spiked, his fingernails were black, and he looked a tad bit intimidating. He looked at me as I looked at him. I kind of chuckled and said, “Ok, I just have to know…I can’t even get through security with a belt on! How do YOU get through???” That short ice breaker began a most fascinating and enjoyable conversation with this young man. What an amazing conversation (and conversation topic!!) I would have missed if I had merely decided he was too weird and not worth my attention.

We tear down the walls of old buildings to create something better. Maybe we can find ways to open gates in our walls, jump over the walls, or just plain forget about the walls. I think in doing this we will be amazed at the blessings that not only come into our own lives, but the blessing we can become in the lives of others.

A thought for today...

"To every man there comes in his lifetime that special moment when he is figurately tapped on the shoulder and offered a chance to do a special thing, unique to him and fitted to his talent - what a tragedy if that moment finds him unprepared or unqualified for the work which would be his finest hour." Winston Churchill

My 44th Birthday

Today is my 44th birthday. I really thought I’d be feeling “old” and weird about it, but as I pondered it, I realized that I actually feel younger than I have for awhile. I have come to realize that I am very likely only ½ way through my life, and goodness, that’s not a great time to be feeling old!!! It’s time to really LIVE!!

It was kind of funny at the breakfast table yesterday. My 13-year-old Michelle was discussing my upcoming birthday. I told her that now that I am turning 44 I am officially in my “mid-40’s” instead of my early 40’s. She assured me that the only “mid-40” is 45; before that you are early 40’s and after that you are late 40’s. I really liked that idea! However, I don’t think my 47-year-old dear hubby did!!!

This last year has been a really tough year for me, but a really amazing year. I have learned more in the last year than I had in many years. This last year I have learned to build a website, write a blog, buy a trademark, do office billing, be the Primary President, make a new type of baby blanket, and be a grandma, along with other “odds and ends” lessons!! I have also learned that I have more patience, intelligence, and talents than I realized.

I hope that I have learned, better than ever before, to “cherish the moment.” As I watch my children growing up to be wonderful human beings and as they leave home and start their own lives, I realize how short and precious are those few years we have them. Hopefully I am internalizing the concepts of “don’t sweat the small stuff” and “choose your battles.”

I have hopefully learned to really put my life in the Lord’s hands – to “jump on, hold on, and enjoy the ride.” Of course, as we all know, this is an on-going process! Just when we think we have it all figured out, the Lord decides to give a test here and there to see just how devoted we are to that concept!!!