I am currently visiting my mom for the week. As I was out walking yesterday I passed my former high school. It was old 26 years ago when I was there, so now it’s REALLY old!!! They are in the process of doing some rebuilding and changing. As I walked past the old driving range area they were just starting to knock down the tower building where the teacher would watch each driver out on the range and give them direction over the radio on what they needed to do differently. I’m sure I spent a lot of time out there, and hopefully I wasn’t TOO bad of a driver, but truly one of my few memories of my time on that range is the teacher yelling at me because I was having problems trying to drive a stick shift (I finally DID master it several years later, though!!)
It seemed kind of silly that watching that old building come down made me feel a bit emotional. I stood there and watched it for awhile. Maybe it wasn’t so much the building itself, as it was the flood of memories that came washing back to me. As I walked through my old neighborhood I thought of beloved neighbors and friends who I haven’t seen in many years, or who have passed on to “the other side.” I thought of people who were very dear friends in high school, but who I haven’t had contact with in way too many years.
I thought about old friends, and old acquaintances who have become friends over the years. I thought about how many things change over time. I thought about how I wish I could help my teenage children understand that, although their friends are ultimately important to them now, as the years go on many of those people will disappear from their lives, but they will always have their family…to help them understand the importance of spending time building relationships with their siblings.
I am very blessed that I am not a person who tends to hold grudges. However, I know plenty of people who do. Watching that building come down made me think about “walls” we have in our own lives. And not just walls of grudges, but walls of prejudice.
In thinking about friends from the past, I remember a young man who I was friends with, but was not particularly popular. One time I saw him coming toward me at a dance, and being oh so concerned about my own abilities to be “cool,” I hid so he wouldn’t ask me to dance. I have always regretted that. He was such a GOOD person and just nice guy. I’ve heard he actually turned out to be quite successful and I am very happy for him. I’m sorry that I lost that chance at building a better friendship with him.
What kinds of walls do we build? We all know about the walls we build to protect ourselves – walls we build because we have been hurt in the past, or because we are scared, or too busy, or whatever seems important. But what kind of trade-off have we made?
It completely drives me crazy to watch a movie where the actor and actress are both in love with each other, but one or both of them is unwilling to break down a wall, or even open a gate, to allow the other one “inside” to know their true feelings. If one or the other would just take the chance to say, “Hey, I really love you, like you, want to be with you, etc.” then they could have the possibility of a wonderful relationship.
How often do we do that in our lives? Maybe not with a “love interest,” but even with friends. What about that new neighbor that just moved in? She dresses a little differently from me, he seems a little conceited, they seem to have it all together and don’t need any more friends. There could be a myriad of excuses for us to not come out of our comfort zone – too busy, too shy, too insecure – but what kinds of wonderful relationships are we missing out on? What kinds of great experiences are we losing?
I love people. I love to learn about people. I have learned so many fascinating things from people who at first glance may seem not worth the conversation. When Jeff and I were in New Jersey last spring we were at the Newark airport on the shuttle to the departure gates. There was a man across from us that was probably in his late 20’s. He was definitely a piece of work! He looked like the poster child for how to be Gothic. He had more earrings, necklaces, rings, etc on his body than I even own. His hair was spiked, his fingernails were black, and he looked a tad bit intimidating. He looked at me as I looked at him. I kind of chuckled and said, “Ok, I just have to know…I can’t even get through security with a belt on! How do YOU get through???” That short ice breaker began a most fascinating and enjoyable conversation with this young man. What an amazing conversation (and conversation topic!!) I would have missed if I had merely decided he was too weird and not worth my attention.
We tear down the walls of old buildings to create something better. Maybe we can find ways to open gates in our walls, jump over the walls, or just plain forget about the walls. I think in doing this we will be amazed at the blessings that not only come into our own lives, but the blessing we can become in the lives of others.
It seemed kind of silly that watching that old building come down made me feel a bit emotional. I stood there and watched it for awhile. Maybe it wasn’t so much the building itself, as it was the flood of memories that came washing back to me. As I walked through my old neighborhood I thought of beloved neighbors and friends who I haven’t seen in many years, or who have passed on to “the other side.” I thought of people who were very dear friends in high school, but who I haven’t had contact with in way too many years.
I thought about old friends, and old acquaintances who have become friends over the years. I thought about how many things change over time. I thought about how I wish I could help my teenage children understand that, although their friends are ultimately important to them now, as the years go on many of those people will disappear from their lives, but they will always have their family…to help them understand the importance of spending time building relationships with their siblings.
I am very blessed that I am not a person who tends to hold grudges. However, I know plenty of people who do. Watching that building come down made me think about “walls” we have in our own lives. And not just walls of grudges, but walls of prejudice.
In thinking about friends from the past, I remember a young man who I was friends with, but was not particularly popular. One time I saw him coming toward me at a dance, and being oh so concerned about my own abilities to be “cool,” I hid so he wouldn’t ask me to dance. I have always regretted that. He was such a GOOD person and just nice guy. I’ve heard he actually turned out to be quite successful and I am very happy for him. I’m sorry that I lost that chance at building a better friendship with him.
What kinds of walls do we build? We all know about the walls we build to protect ourselves – walls we build because we have been hurt in the past, or because we are scared, or too busy, or whatever seems important. But what kind of trade-off have we made?
It completely drives me crazy to watch a movie where the actor and actress are both in love with each other, but one or both of them is unwilling to break down a wall, or even open a gate, to allow the other one “inside” to know their true feelings. If one or the other would just take the chance to say, “Hey, I really love you, like you, want to be with you, etc.” then they could have the possibility of a wonderful relationship.
How often do we do that in our lives? Maybe not with a “love interest,” but even with friends. What about that new neighbor that just moved in? She dresses a little differently from me, he seems a little conceited, they seem to have it all together and don’t need any more friends. There could be a myriad of excuses for us to not come out of our comfort zone – too busy, too shy, too insecure – but what kinds of wonderful relationships are we missing out on? What kinds of great experiences are we losing?
I love people. I love to learn about people. I have learned so many fascinating things from people who at first glance may seem not worth the conversation. When Jeff and I were in New Jersey last spring we were at the Newark airport on the shuttle to the departure gates. There was a man across from us that was probably in his late 20’s. He was definitely a piece of work! He looked like the poster child for how to be Gothic. He had more earrings, necklaces, rings, etc on his body than I even own. His hair was spiked, his fingernails were black, and he looked a tad bit intimidating. He looked at me as I looked at him. I kind of chuckled and said, “Ok, I just have to know…I can’t even get through security with a belt on! How do YOU get through???” That short ice breaker began a most fascinating and enjoyable conversation with this young man. What an amazing conversation (and conversation topic!!) I would have missed if I had merely decided he was too weird and not worth my attention.
We tear down the walls of old buildings to create something better. Maybe we can find ways to open gates in our walls, jump over the walls, or just plain forget about the walls. I think in doing this we will be amazed at the blessings that not only come into our own lives, but the blessing we can become in the lives of others.
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