Which Direction Are You Facing?

Recently I heard a snippet of a talk by John Bytheway.  I don’t even know what the name of the talk was, but he was speaking about a talk he gave to a group of men in prison.  This topic, however, fully applies to each of us.

As we start this New Year and are making goals and resolutions, one of the things worth pondering about is not necessarily where we are, but rather what direction we are facing.

Kudos to you if by and large you are doing the things you should be doing….reading your scriptures, praying daily, attending the temple, etc.  But are you continuing to progress toward a closer relationship with your Savior, or are you becoming complacent?  Are you continuing to strive, or are you letting little things slip now and then (I’m too tired to read my scriptures tonight, it’s ok if I don't keep the Sabbath now and then, this movie really isn’t THAT bad)?

On the flip side, if you realize that, like most of us, you are far from perfect, which direction are you facing?  Do you feel like you are never quite good enough, yet you are continually making a conscious effort to improve and to overcome your weaknesses?  Then you ARE facing the right direction!!  The Lord does not tell us to be perfect RIGHT NOW…he tells us to BECOME perfect.  That implies that this path we are on will be a lifelong (and then some) endeavor.  The trick is to be headed the right direction on that path.

So as this year begins, take a minute to evaluate that path and where it is taking you.  And while you are at it, also evaluate the improvements you have made this last year and give yourself a “hug!”

Sometimes it is the Little Things....

This last week was Thanksgiving.  For the last little while I have been thinking about people who have touched my life at important times, and realized that many of them may not realize how significant their action was to me or that they made a difference in my life at all.  It brought to mind how sometimes things that seem like little things to one person can make a world of difference to another.  So I wanted to publicly mention them here because they have had such an impact on my life.  They are in no particular order, and I am purposefully not including my husband and our family because that would take WAY too much space in this post.  

When I was newly married we attended our “young married adult” ward for the first time.  I was young and felt so very out of place and alone.  I sat down in Relief Society and the Relief Society President came over and sat by me, put her arm around me, and welcomed me to the ward.  For her that was a little thing – for me it was huge!  And speaking of presidents, I served under many wonderful women auxiliary presidents who patiently and lovingly taught me through their examples how to lead with love and how to serve well.  This was priceless when I became the president of an auxiliary.

When I was about 9 I was a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I had been raised in a religious family but never really understood that you could pray for help.  One day we had a family of church friends over at our house and I lost my little purse that had my money in it.  I told the friend that was my age that I had lost it and didn't know what to do.  He suggested that I pray about it.  New concept!!  I did, and very shortly thereafter remembered where it was.  That was a powerful lesson for me.

My best friend in high school had no idea what an example she was to me of how to work.  We served together in ward responsibilities, played the piano together in Jazz Band, and served together on Seminary Council.  Her example was truly life changing for me.

I had surgery in high school and was in the hospital for several days.  A friend of our family came and spent an afternoon in the hospital with me and was just THERE so that I would not be alone.  Another time I had surgery in my 30’s – I knew who the anesthesiologist was but he didn’t know me.  As the medicine started to work I told him that it was painful.  He was truly compassionate in his response to me and I felt of his kindness.  We later ended up living in the same neighborhood and I have never forgotten his kind and gentle care.

Our youngest daughter became critically ill when she was 20 months old.  A number of people helped us through that difficult time, but the two most touching were my friend who came and held my hand at the hospital as we could hear my daughter’s cries down the hall during a spinal tap, and the kind neighbor who, through his ties with the local airline was able to provide tickets for my husband to fly up to Primary Children’s Hospital to be with us after our life flight adventure, and then to also provide tickets for us to fly home instead of having to try to make the long drive back.

We lost a grandchild to death shortly after birth 2 years ago.  One day at church not long afterward I had to leave Sacrament meeting and go sit in the hall because I was having such a hard time emotionally.  A member of the ward saw my struggle, came over and just touched my shoulder and gave me a smile before he walked off.  He had no idea how much I just needed that reassurance.

There have been a multitude of others – from little things like a visiting teacher coming and sitting by me in church just when I felt like I needed a friend, to a friend leaving a note on my windshield of my car, and more. 

It is not only in the sad times, though.  Those special touching memories are there in the happy times.  It’s the person in the grocery line that smiles and chats with you for a minute, or the neighbor that takes the time to ask how your “away” children are doing.  It’s the home and visiting teachers that are faithful in their visits and care.  It is the friend from the past that takes a minute to drop you a quick note or email just to check in and let you know they are thinking of you.  And don’t forget the friend who knows you need a chocolate fix and provides!!!!

Several years ago I started an album of special notes/letters I have received.  It has now turned into several albums and those are so very dear to me.  There are so many people in my ward and neighborhood who have made a difference just by being there – a hug, a smile, the warmth of their continued friendship.  We build those relationships “line upon line”.  Those small strands of silk become the strong ties that bind us together as a human family.  We all need each other – each one playing their small part in making a better world.

We really have no idea how much the little things can mean to others.  I’m thankful for all of those who have touched my life, and I continue to pray for opportunities to touch the lives of others each day.

A Place of Miracles

In November 2001, our life brought us one of those events that sits somewhere in the back of your mind as something that happens to other people, not to you.

Our 20-month-old daughter, Lyndsi, began a learning experience doctors refer to as Guillain-Barre. This incredibly painful disease attacked our sweet daughter at the end of a simple head cold. In this disease, the body’s own immune system destroys the myelin sheath of the nerves. The best description the doctors could give us was that her entire body felt the way the rest of us feel when a foot or leg “goes to sleep;” however, there was no way to relieve the pain. During her time at the hospital she also developed a very serious bacterial infection.

I will spare the dreaded details of the illness, other than to say that she is truly a miracle and we are so grateful for our Heavenly Father’s watchful care and for the lessons we learned along the way. The kindness and support from the medical community we dealt with was such a great comfort to us also, and I can never say enough wonderful things about how well we were treated.

But the point of this chapter is to try to share a small part of the overwhelming lessons that I learned while at Primary Children’s Hospital, things that have helped me grow closer to the Spirit.

We had a nurse in the ICU named Adam. He asked us if we were LDS, and when we told him that we were he told us that every Sunday there is a Sacrament Meeting (worship service) held there at the hospital for the patients and their families. Although circumstances with Lyndsi prevented my being able to attend on either Sunday that I was there, I was touched by the description he gave me. He talked about what an emotional experience it is to sit in a room full of sick children, some of them toting along their IV poles, some of them bald, all of them with health trials, and to listen to them sharing their testimonies of God and His love for them, telling how grateful they are for their blessings.

The first Sunday that we were there we were in the ICU, but the second Sunday the Bishop and a young man (I think his son), came room to room to see if anybody wanted to partake of the sacrament who had not been able to come to Sacrament Meeting. In a regular Sacrament Meeting the priesthood holders bless the sacrament for the whole congregation and then pass it to each person, but, as I experienced first hand, when the sacrament is administered to you alone, the bread and water are each blessed, just for you. Tears flowed freely down my face as I more deeply understood at that time that the sacrament is completely individual; even though it is administered to the congregation as a whole, Jesus’ sacrifice was very specifically for ME, as it was for EACH person. The impact that experience had on me is one that still humbles me to this day.

One night as I sat by Lyndsi’s bed two men came in to visit the family of the boy with whom Lyndsi shared a room. The curtain was drawn and I wasn’t paying any particular attention to what was going on, until I heard a prayer begin. As these two holders of the Priesthood laid their hands on the head of this little boy and prayed for his recovery, such a wonderful spirit entered the room. I pondered on how many blessings were given through the Priesthood in this very hospital every single day, and how many miracles had been seen here.

I had often heard people express the idea of “feeling prayers” in their behalf. I had always wondered what that must mean; but you know, sometimes you get what you asked for, and I now have a very clear understanding of that concept. We were aware of the numerous friends, family, church members, and even complete strangers who knew of our plight, who were praying for her. I don’t do well with stressful situations, but I was blessed with a calmness and cheerful attitude (most of the time!) that were way beyond what I thought I was capable of, and I truly felt that my Heavenly Father was by my side through all of this.

I honestly do not know why some people are allowed miraculous healings and others are not; but I DO know for certain that our lives are in the hands of a loving Heavenly Father who weeps when we weep.

Somebody asked me after that experience if having gone through that experience had built a special bond with Lyndsi that isn’t there with the other children. I guess to a point, perhaps. But it definitely changed my feelings for ALL of my children and my husband, because I realized that in merely an instant our lives can change. It helped me be more grateful for every single day and to “cherish the moment.”

I am so grateful that the Lord still gives us miracles!!!

Opportunities for growth

Recently I received an email from a group I belong to for moms of LDS missionaries. One sister talked about some really hard things that her son had gone through on his mission, and how that had been a trial of her faith as well. As a parent it is always hard to watch our children struggle and have difficulties. However, she went on to say that in retrospect she sees how those experiences shaped him to be better prepared to deal with trials that came later in his life.

I have gone through experiences at different times in my life that have made me really struggle, and that weren't fun; sometimes, I hate to admit, I would even question the "why." Looking back (hindsight is 20/20!) I am better able to recognize the blessings that have come as a result of those experiences.

There is a relatively new CD out by Kenneth Cope. He has a song on it called "Where You Are." I want to share some of the words of this song with you:

I'm talkin' Daniel in the den of the lions,
Talkin' Jonah in the belly of a whale,
I'm talkin' three Hebrew children
And they're standing in the furnace, the fiery furnace.
But the fire didn't burn them,
And the lions didn't bite,
And the Lord reached down and you can be sure that
Everything turned out right.
Oh you'll meet the Lord in the furnace
Long time 'fore you meet Him in the sky.

Meet Him in your time of trial,
Meet Him in your hour of prayer,
You can reach out and I'll bet
You'll find that He's there.

And the fire won't burn you,
And the lions won't bite,
And the Lord will reach down and you can be sure that
Everything will turn out all right
Oh, you'll meet the Lord in the furnace
Long time 'fore you meet Him in the sky,
Then you'll meet Him in the sky.
(Kenneth Cope copyright 1991)

Sometimes when things seem difficult, my husband and I joke that we need to make sure we get it right so the Lord doesn't make us repeat this learning opportunity!! (For more on this topic see Neal Maxwell "Encircled in the Arms of His Love" http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=ea59ee9ba42fe010VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1
It seems it all comes down to truly having faith in the Lord and submitting our will to His, having the faith to know that if we allow our will to be swallowed up in the will of the Lord, "everything will turn out all right."