Which Direction Are You Facing?

Recently I heard a snippet of a talk by John Bytheway.  I don’t even know what the name of the talk was, but he was speaking about a talk he gave to a group of men in prison.  This topic, however, fully applies to each of us.

As we start this New Year and are making goals and resolutions, one of the things worth pondering about is not necessarily where we are, but rather what direction we are facing.

Kudos to you if by and large you are doing the things you should be doing….reading your scriptures, praying daily, attending the temple, etc.  But are you continuing to progress toward a closer relationship with your Savior, or are you becoming complacent?  Are you continuing to strive, or are you letting little things slip now and then (I’m too tired to read my scriptures tonight, it’s ok if I don't keep the Sabbath now and then, this movie really isn’t THAT bad)?

On the flip side, if you realize that, like most of us, you are far from perfect, which direction are you facing?  Do you feel like you are never quite good enough, yet you are continually making a conscious effort to improve and to overcome your weaknesses?  Then you ARE facing the right direction!!  The Lord does not tell us to be perfect RIGHT NOW…he tells us to BECOME perfect.  That implies that this path we are on will be a lifelong (and then some) endeavor.  The trick is to be headed the right direction on that path.

So as this year begins, take a minute to evaluate that path and where it is taking you.  And while you are at it, also evaluate the improvements you have made this last year and give yourself a “hug!”

Sometimes it is the Little Things....

This last week was Thanksgiving.  For the last little while I have been thinking about people who have touched my life at important times, and realized that many of them may not realize how significant their action was to me or that they made a difference in my life at all.  It brought to mind how sometimes things that seem like little things to one person can make a world of difference to another.  So I wanted to publicly mention them here because they have had such an impact on my life.  They are in no particular order, and I am purposefully not including my husband and our family because that would take WAY too much space in this post.  

When I was newly married we attended our “young married adult” ward for the first time.  I was young and felt so very out of place and alone.  I sat down in Relief Society and the Relief Society President came over and sat by me, put her arm around me, and welcomed me to the ward.  For her that was a little thing – for me it was huge!  And speaking of presidents, I served under many wonderful women auxiliary presidents who patiently and lovingly taught me through their examples how to lead with love and how to serve well.  This was priceless when I became the president of an auxiliary.

When I was about 9 I was a convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I had been raised in a religious family but never really understood that you could pray for help.  One day we had a family of church friends over at our house and I lost my little purse that had my money in it.  I told the friend that was my age that I had lost it and didn't know what to do.  He suggested that I pray about it.  New concept!!  I did, and very shortly thereafter remembered where it was.  That was a powerful lesson for me.

My best friend in high school had no idea what an example she was to me of how to work.  We served together in ward responsibilities, played the piano together in Jazz Band, and served together on Seminary Council.  Her example was truly life changing for me.

I had surgery in high school and was in the hospital for several days.  A friend of our family came and spent an afternoon in the hospital with me and was just THERE so that I would not be alone.  Another time I had surgery in my 30’s – I knew who the anesthesiologist was but he didn’t know me.  As the medicine started to work I told him that it was painful.  He was truly compassionate in his response to me and I felt of his kindness.  We later ended up living in the same neighborhood and I have never forgotten his kind and gentle care.

Our youngest daughter became critically ill when she was 20 months old.  A number of people helped us through that difficult time, but the two most touching were my friend who came and held my hand at the hospital as we could hear my daughter’s cries down the hall during a spinal tap, and the kind neighbor who, through his ties with the local airline was able to provide tickets for my husband to fly up to Primary Children’s Hospital to be with us after our life flight adventure, and then to also provide tickets for us to fly home instead of having to try to make the long drive back.

We lost a grandchild to death shortly after birth 2 years ago.  One day at church not long afterward I had to leave Sacrament meeting and go sit in the hall because I was having such a hard time emotionally.  A member of the ward saw my struggle, came over and just touched my shoulder and gave me a smile before he walked off.  He had no idea how much I just needed that reassurance.

There have been a multitude of others – from little things like a visiting teacher coming and sitting by me in church just when I felt like I needed a friend, to a friend leaving a note on my windshield of my car, and more. 

It is not only in the sad times, though.  Those special touching memories are there in the happy times.  It’s the person in the grocery line that smiles and chats with you for a minute, or the neighbor that takes the time to ask how your “away” children are doing.  It’s the home and visiting teachers that are faithful in their visits and care.  It is the friend from the past that takes a minute to drop you a quick note or email just to check in and let you know they are thinking of you.  And don’t forget the friend who knows you need a chocolate fix and provides!!!!

Several years ago I started an album of special notes/letters I have received.  It has now turned into several albums and those are so very dear to me.  There are so many people in my ward and neighborhood who have made a difference just by being there – a hug, a smile, the warmth of their continued friendship.  We build those relationships “line upon line”.  Those small strands of silk become the strong ties that bind us together as a human family.  We all need each other – each one playing their small part in making a better world.

We really have no idea how much the little things can mean to others.  I’m thankful for all of those who have touched my life, and I continue to pray for opportunities to touch the lives of others each day.

My Hubby IS My Boyfriend

In the last year a number of people close to us have been experiencing marital problems and are either contemplating divorce, or have actually become divorced.  I have spent a lot of time pondering this.  Jeff and I have an amazing marriage.  It isn’t perfect, and there are hard times – I know that sometimes I probably drive him crazy, but we love each other deeply and are truly best friends.

As I have contemplated things to tell others who are struggling with their marriage, one idea that I have thought a lot about is, “What would you do differently after you got divorced?”  Well, I assume that you would start looking for a new boyfriend (or girlfriend, as the case may be).  Hmmm, seems like if you were on the “hunt” for a new person, you would probably treat that other person a bit differently than you treat your current spouse. 

What kinds of things would you do?  I would imagine that you would make sure you looked your best when you knew you were going out.  I assume you would date!!!  You would probably text each other and call each other throughout the day.  You would hold your tongue more often, be patient, and give the other person the benefit of the doubt.  You would use endearing words to them, you would put their comfort and happiness before your own.  You get my drift here….

So, if you are going to go to all that effort to have a boyfriend, why not make your HUSBAND your boyfriend???!!!!!  How do you greet your hubby when he gets home from work?  Do you basically ignore him, or do you give him a big hug and kiss?  Do you ever call or text him during the day just to share a funny incident or to tell him you love him?  Do you cuddle up with him when you watch a movie?  Do you sit by him in church or do you let all of the kids sit between you?

I love being married to my boyfriend!!  After 30 years we still flirt, cuddle, and hold hands with each other.  We have a weekly date, and we make a great effort to take good care of each other. 

Don’t you think it would be better to keep the spouse you have and keep your family intact?  It IS possible to fall back in love even if you think you have “fallen out of love.”  Give it a try…what do you have to lose???

Birthday Traditions

At our house, birthdays are a BIG deal.  Today is my hubby's 49th birthday, but even though he's not a kid anymore, we still make birthdays fun!!!

We start off first thing in the morning making sure we wish the birthday person a happy birthday!  They get to choose whatever they want for breakfast.  This usually entails things like Belgian Waffles, hash browns, and bacon.  All over the table the person has to find their "birthday pennies."  We hide about $1.50 to $2 in coins under plates, dishes, serving dishes, milk cartons, etc. all over the table and they have to find it all before they can start eating.

There is always a bouquet of balloons that day, the use of the honored "You Are Special" plate, a few rounds of loving "birthday spanks," and a cake (flavor of the birthday person's choice) decorated by me.  Now, you have to understand...some of my cakes have turned out looking pretty fabulous.  Some not so much!!!  One year it was so bad for Lyndsi's birthday (Mike Wyzoski stuck to the pan!!) that I ran to the grocery and bought an Elmo cake!!!

Of course, there is a birthday lunch with Mom and Dad, but sometimes if school or work are involved it has to wait until the weekend.

For dinner the birthday person again chooses the menu.  Some of the top favorites are Mom's homemade pizza, lasagna, and salmon.

After dinner comes the presents and party.  It's fun to have Jeff's parents so close because they are usually here to help us celebrate!!  We sing to the person (if you've heard us sing, I don't know if that is necessarily a GOOD thing!!), open presents, and then have the cake with candles, etc.  There's usually lots of laughing and way too many pictures!!!

One thing that has been fun is that when our children were little, on someone's birthday, they would make them a BUNCH of gifts...little homemade things like coupons and pictures.  It was always so neat!!

We feel it's important for our birthday people to see how much we love them!!!